Líf í árvekni: Að eignast ljónshjarta

laugardagur, 2. ágúst 2014

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Verslunarmannahelgi vekur margs konar minningar hjá mér – engar þó um útihátíðir. Laugardag verslunarmannahelgarinnar 2006 giftist ég Mínum heittelskaða í Dómkirkjunni í Reykjavík. Tveimur mánuðum eftir það greindist hann með heilakrabbamein. Eftir að drekinn sá hafði verið skorinn og steiktur með geislum vorið 2007 lá hann í dvala í rúm fimm ár. Verslunarmannahelgina 2012 raknaði hann við sér og sló til halanum. Á þremur sólarhringum fékk Minn heittelskaði í kringum 70 svonefnd einföld hlutaflog sem valda afar undarlegum tilfinningum og hugsunum þær tvær mínútur sem þau standa (ekki krampa eða meðvitundarleysi) og mál-og minnisleysi fyrst á eftir. Við vörðum stærstum hluta helgarinnar á bráðamóttökunni og á endanum stöðvaðist flogahrinan þegar Minn fékk aftur frumlyf í stað samheitaflogalyfjanna sem hann hafði tekið um tíma. Mánuði síðar greindist nýtt heilaæxli til viðbótar því fyrra, í þetta sinn óskurðtækt, og fimm mánuðum eftir það dó hetjan mín hugrakka og drekinn með honum, 9. febrúar 2013. Móðir hans lést tæpum tíu mánuðum síðar, 30. nóvember 2013, og pabbi minn sjö mánuðum eftir það, 12. júlí síðastliðinn. 
 
Lífið er ófyrirsjáanlegt, sem er að sínu leyti ágætt. Dauðinn er hluti af lífinu og við verðum að sætta okkur við það, hversu mjög sem okkur svíður að missa þá sem okkur eru kærastir. Það hjálpar að fá að tala um það sem hefur gerst, tala um þau dánu og leyfa okkur að gráta þau. Tárin líkna, ekki vera hrædd við þau.
Þið sem standið hjá og viljið hjálpa okkur sem syrgjum, stígið út í óttann og eigið frumkvæði að því að hafa samband við okkur. Líka þótt langt sé um liðið frá því að þið tókuð upp símann og þetta sé að verða dálítið vandræðalegt. Kannski verða einhver okkar dálítið afundin yfir löngu afskiptaleysi en léttirinn yfir því að við höfum ekki líka misst ykkur mun hafa yfirhöndina og þakklætið streyma fram. Það er vissulega gott að leyfa syrgjendum að fá næði í fyrstu, á meðan stærstu sorgaröldurnar skolast yfir og við viljum vera í skjóli innan veggja heimilisins. En þegar frá líður þurfum við á ykkur að halda, vinunum og ættingjunum. Ekki segja: ,,Hafðu samband ef það er eitthvað sem ég get gert fyrir þig.“ Við höfum sjaldnast samband; það tekur ótrúlega mikið á að kalla eftir hjálp. Við erum berskjölduð, opin inn að kviku, og þörfin fyrir hjálp gerir okkur enn meyrari en ella. Sum okkar hafa jafnvel reynt að biðja um aðstoð við einhver verkefni í heimilishaldinu en fengið þögn eða höfnun; slíkt særir óendanlega mikið og bætist ofan á gríðarlegt tilfinningalegt álagið sem fyrir er. 
Ekki spyrja hvort við segjum ekki ,,allt gott“ því það segir okkur að þið treystið ykkur ekki til að heyra neitt annað en ,,allt gott.“ Að þið viljið að nú sé okkur farið að líða miklu betur, úr því að það er liðinn tiltekinn tími frá andlátinu. En við söknum elskunnar okkar alveg jafnmikið, hvort sem hún dó í síðasta mánuði eða fyrir þremur árum. Líka þótt við séum kannski að reyna að fóta okkur í nýju sambandi, með tilfinningarnar allar í einni togstreitu- og sektarflækju ofan á sorgina.

Spyrjið heldur hvernig okkur gangi, hvernig okkur líði, hvort þið megið kannski fá börnin lánuð í dag eða um næstu helgi, hvort við viljum koma með ykkur í bíó eða á kaffihús eða hittast yfir kvöldmat heima fyrir. Spyrjið hvort syrgjandinn hafi heyrt um nýju samtökin fyrir ungar ekkjur og ekkla, Ljónshjarta, og deilið síðunni á samskiptamiðlum. Hlustið eftir því hvað er á verkefnalistanum hjá okkur og bjóðið aðstoð við það sem þið treystið ykkur í. Allt það sem var á verksviði þess sem dó eða sameiginlegt verkefni hjóna kemur við kvikuna. Jafnvel það sem þér finnst vera litlir hlutir geta verið yfirþyrmandi fyrir syrgjandann, eins og að þvo bílinn, fara á bílaverkstæði, skipta um síma-og sjónvarpsþjónustu, fara yfir tryggingamálin, skilja lífeyrisréttindin, skila skattskýrslunni, taka til í geymslunni og fara með dót í Sorpu, selja dýra hluti sem voru í eigu hins látna og gagnast ekki þeim sem eftir lifa, kanna hvaða möguleikar eru í boði varðandi frístundir fyrir börnin í sumar eða fara út í búð að kaupa heimilistæki. 
Við sem misstum elskuna okkar vitum að þið sem standið okkur næst eruð líka í sorg og það tekur á ykkur að hitta okkur sem minnum ykkur á þann sem er horfinn og kemur aldrei aftur. En hafið í huga að við lifum með sorginni hvern einasta dag, hverja einustu stund, ár eftir ár. Við öndum að okkur þessum nýja veruleika í hverjum andardrætti, eigum ekki um neitt annað að velja. Samveran og samhjálpin gera byrðina svo miklu léttari, jafnt fyrir okkur og ykkur. Þannig styrkist ljónshjartað í brjósti okkar allra og óttinn leysist upp.
Trú, von og kærleikur, þetta þrennt varir. Og þeirra er kærleikurinn mestur.  

101 comments:

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Þörf áminning og fallega skrifuð. Takk.

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Tek undir orð Páls, takk

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Takk fyrir þessa þörfu áminningu kæra Vilborg og gangi þér vel.
kv
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Mig langar bara að segja takk kæra Vilborg. Takk fyrir allt sem þú hefur deilt og fært okkar. Það hefur verið mér mikil huggun að geta leitað í skrif þín undanfarið. Lesið og skilið að ég er ekki ein með mínar tilfinningar þegar sorg og missir er annars vegar. Og í kjölfarið allar þær pælingar sem koma um lífið og tilveruna, guð og ekki guð.

Mig langar að segja að lokum orð sem þú hefur sjálf notað, megi mátturinn vera með þér ótrúlega kona.

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🎆THE HACK GEEKS🎆
Hefurðu einhvern tíma furða ef það er hægt að hakka hlutina eins og tölvusnápur gera það í bíóunum.
🤔🤔

Já mögulegt !!! 😁😁😁

Hacking getur auðveldlega verið gert með því að gróðursetja tölvuveira eða spyware (allt eftir því hvað tölvusnápur hyggst gera) í markvissum tækinu.🤐🤐

Við hjá HACK GEEKS gefa þér bestu hakkþjónustu þar sem alltaf er
Við skiljum útgáfur af svindlarum um allt netið og það er þess vegna sem við gefum þér traustan sönnun á þjónustu okkar.👌👌

Við höfum fengið toppur tölvusnápur í hackerone.com sem er alltaf tilbúinn til að hakk fyrir þig hvenær sem er, hvar sem er, hvaða tæki, samtök, sambandsskrifstofur, háskóli, háskóli sem þú hugsar bara um það.
Viltu:
* Til að Hack, Clone eða fylgjast með síma? 📲
* Til að hreinsa, eyða eða breyta skrá í fyrirtæki, stofnun eða í sambandsskrifstofu? 📖
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Hafa samband:
thehackgeeks@gmail.com
Við hlökkum til að reiðhestur fyrir þig

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